Because I love you… (MB #14)

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I clocked in earlier and instead of having dinner with Hunter, I sulked in the guest room he had assigned me to, all alone, fighting my stomach’s protest at the smell of what I could only assume was roast. Loki had abandoned me to sleep by Hunter’s fireplace in an adorable furry ball and I couldn’t even be mad at him. If the situation had been different I would’ve also been in front of it enjoying its warmth and maybe even Hunter’s. As it was, he and I didn’t speak anymore after I told him I was leaving as soon as possible and I thought it to be for the best. The only way to protect myself and him was to leave, I only wished I could’ve made that decision before I fell in love with him.

Mad at the thought of those feelings for him, I took my clothes off and jumped in the shower of the bedroom’s ensuite bathroom. I scrubbed every trace of love from my body angrily muttering to myself to forget about him because he wasn’t worth it and men in general aren’t, but something in me knew I didn’t even sound convincing much less like someone speaking the truth. The reality of it was that I didn’t just like Hunter’s smile, body and soul. I was in love with them. I melted every single time he smiled or touched me even by accident, I craved his kiss when he was near and my heart ached the entire drive here when I couldn’t even reach out to hold his hand.

His cold demeanour towards me had hit me like a truck passing by at a hundred miles per hour and the thought of him not even looking at me made tears stream down my face. I tried so hard to be strong in front of him, to show him that I didn’t care he thought I had something to do with James’ death, that it didn’t matter if he couldn’t look at me anymore because I felt nothing for him, when in fact I felt everything. I felt everything for him and he’d slipped under my defenses, making me love him even when I didn’t think I knew how to anymore.

I tried to compose myself and then sleep that night, in a bed that was Hunter’s but would never be mine. I tossed and turned until my head started aching from the lack of sleep and accumulated stress. I kept going over everything in my head, the articles of James’ death, my supposed involvement in it and the image of his body being dragged out of that lake. I couldn’t stop thinking about that and every time I did, a shiver went down my spine and my skin prickled at the horrific end he’d suffered. Despite our differences I didn’t wish that upon anyone. I once loved him and he deserved better than to end up at the bottom of a lake, alone, with no one to hold him in his last moments.

I felt tears threatening my eyes again and I got out of the bed in an attempt to distract myself from it. I slowly opened the guest room’s door and went down the stairs to get a glass of water, hoping not to wake Hunter up with my noisy steps. I thought I succeeded, until I saw him sitting by the fireplace in an armchair just staring at the fire, Loki still curled up in a ball in front of it. ‘Everything okay?’ he asked, turning his gaze towards me, this time with a softer look, that made me forget why I was angry at him in the first place. I shrugged my shoulders in surrender, ‘Can’t sleep. What about you?’ I asked as courtesy, ‘Me neither. Wanna join me? The little man seems to be enjoying the fireplace’. I simply nodded and went to sit on the floor next to Loki as there wasn’t another place to sit down. He immediately said no, ‘Not there. Come here.’ pointing to his lap, leaving me confused. I shook my head ‘I don’t think that’s-…’ ‘Please, I just need to feel you in my arms again.’ he interjected. My primal senses didn’t hesitate despite my brain questioning his request and I went to sit in his lap where he put his arms around me and I curled up in a ball similar to Loki’s, with my lips close to his neck. As tempting as it was to trace his neckline with my lips, I didn’t. I held onto him as he sighed deeply next to me, inhaling my hair’s shampoo scent and placing a kiss on top of my head, letting his lips linger for a lot longer than I could manage.

He eventually rested his head against the armchair and said, ‘Grams called. She gave me hell for bringing you here. I thought she might even come here to make a scene.’ I chuckled in the crook of his neck and said with pride, ‘I didn’t expect anything less of her. She’s become my hero overnight.’. I made a small pause and then continued, ‘I’m gonna miss her when I’m gone.’ letting reality sink in. I wasn’t staying, even when he said, ‘You don’t have to, Mia’ I wasn’t convinced, but when he insisted again, ‘Stay here with me. I promise to keep you safe.’ I squeezed my eyes shut from the pain his words gave me. I wanted to stay more than he knew but I was scared out of my mind. ‘Talk to me, Mia. Tell me what we’re really up against and I’ll make sure no one ever finds you here.’ he pressed and raised my chin to look at him, his eyes full of emotion mirroring my own. ‘I. want. you. to. stay.’ he said almost like a plea and when I finally asked why, I knew it would be impossible for me to go anywhere now, ‘Because I love you. I love you, Mia and I want to keep you safe by my side’.

Note: Thank you for reading this post! This is the 14th part of the MB series which you can find on my blog. If you enjoyed it please hit the like button and subscribe to my blog for more!

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