Amongst a lot of negative thoughts running around in my head right now, I choose to focus on this quote today and think of the day when I can say ‘I made it’. My life-long dream has become to leave my current situation behind and start a new chapter of my life somewhere else. To say that’s easier said than done is an understatement and I feel time is moving too slowly for my liking and I want to start my new life now. I don’t want to wait anymore because I’m ready now, but I suppose the universe isn’t, since I can’t take this step yet.
But I’m trying to keep my eyes on the prize and work towards my goal even though sometimes it becomes a little too hard. I think knowing that next year around this time I’ll be in a completely different setting is what keeps me going and just the thought of not having to deal with the toxicity others are trying to poison me with, gives me some hope.
A lot of you might be going through something similar and I want you to know you are not alone. This is more common than people think and our feelings are valid and important. Yesterday, I was told that it didn’t matter how I felt because I had a duty to my job and I couldn’t just fulfill it by staying at home. It hit me quite hard since going to work has been so detrimental to my mental health and I force myself to go in until I can save enough money to leave. I sometimes feel so anxious that I cry and to be told that all of that doesn’t matter because I’m getting paid for this job (poorly might I say) makes me want to run for the hills.
I know I can’t, not yet anyway but I suppose these sort of words make me think of this quote I chose today because guess what? I am really excited to one day say I’ve made it and to one day be really far away from this environment. I know that day is coming sooner rather than later and people’s words will not guilt me into giving in to their manipulations to make me stay.
If you’re with one foot out the door keep going so, you can break free and blossom. Don’t go back because it took a lot of courage to take that first step and nobody deserves to be able to walk away from a bad environment more than you and I. Be proud of the journey you’re on and get excited about that day where you look back at this painful moment in life and you know deep within your heart that you are better off now.
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