Treat yourself kindly


We are often our biggest enemy when things get difficult. We doubt ourselves and our abilities, we question our intentions and ideas, but we also treat ourselves poorly without realising it when our emotions are heightened.

I’ve often blamed myself for things that were unavoidable and have noticed a pattern surge when I’ve made a mistake or when I’m worried about someone misinterpreting my words. My brain spins with the different scenarios I’ve concocted and I forget about kindness, innocence, or forgiveness for myself.

I forget that I’m human at times and that I do make mistakes and will make more. I forget that I’m allowed to make them and rectify them without so much fear. There is an expectation of perfection at work, where I have to plaster a smile all the time even if I’m not feeling it, and mistakes are viewed as a weakness, not a learning opportunity.

When you stay in that kind of environment for too long you tend to start believing that you have to be perfect and mistakes do indeed make you weak, but they don’t. That’s why you have to be the beacon of hope in such a situation because that is what will keep you truthful to yourself.

If you adopt the same attitude as everyone else and make yourself feel less for making a mistake you won’t be better off and you’ll just spiral out of control. Trust your instincts but also yourself to know that it’s okay to fail and that doesn’t mean you can’t try again.

Accept the mistake, reflect upon it and be kind to yourself at that moment. Don’t turn your back to your pain, embrace it, nurture it and heal it. You don’t have to be perfect and your mistakes don’t define you. How you make things better afterward does.

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